When admitting defeat can change your direction for the best

01.02.2018
Lifestyle, Culture, Thoughts
22 Comments

It’s been a while since I’ve written a personal post here. Actually, this blog has really been neglected and there is a reason for that. Since arriving in Stockholm I’ve had this niggling feeling that something had to change in my life. I felt a little lost and like I didn’t have a purpose. Did I really want this blog to be a business? I had such big plans with it before and it was really starting to take off and I was beginning to make a small income from it along with external writing projects. Then I had the health problem before leaving NZ and everything just kind tumbled and my focus shifted. But after I had settled into my new city I kept beating myself up. Why couldn’t I get back to posting three times a week and start building it up again? Why couldn’t I be more aggressive on social media?  I told myself that I wanted to be the Garance Dore of the interior and lifestyle genre…. I told myself a lot of things, but in retrospect I felt so unaligned with it all. I felt like I wasn’t living my truth. I had lost my passion.

Anyway, something happened late last year in the industry that shook my core a little, it made me doubt myself and my purpose even more and I kind of went into my shell for a while. I had distanced myself from Guillaume, I didn’t want to talk about it, mostly because I had no idea why I felt so sad. I was actually starting to feel a little worried about myself and wondered whether I had fallen into a depression. Then finally one night I admitted how disillusioned I was with this blog world and that I was so down and at lost with everything. He was great, he always is in those moments of despair. We talked all night and it got to the so what do you really want to do and I told him that I want to write that damn book. I need to write that book. He then dug the knife in a little deeper and reminded me that I’m always saying that, so why haven’t I started on it yet. And then it came to me. I told him it was because I didn’t know how to write the book! The relief that lifted off my shoulders at that moment. It was instant.

I’ve had a particular story in my mind for years. It’s a true story, in fact it’s about a part of my life, however I wanted to turn it around into a novel based on a true story. I’ve really struggled with this and I’ve attempted to start it a number of times with different angles and no matter what I did, it just didn’t feel right, nor did it have the feeling that I wanted to portray. So I kept on putting it off.

It was that moment of truth that made everything click into place. Suddenly people were presented to me who have experience in publishing. In one single day I receive exactly the same advice from two different people of authority on the subject. One thing after the other was presented to me and then I realised that it’s not a novel that I need to write for this story, it’s a memoir. That was it.  Anyway, you get what I mean, when you feel that you’re on the right path, it’s like the universe conspires to help you. These small signs are always the way for me to recognise that I’m on track. Doe this ever happen to you?

I’ve signed up to a six-month course to guide the process of writing a memoir. It began last month, it’s quite intense and by the end of it, I should have a solid first draft.   I couldn’t think of a better way to begin the year for me as far as goals go and I’m really excited. Already I’ve written twelve thousand words and interestingly they came to me so easily.

Life is so interesting how it guides you to what you should be doing. If we listen, if we ask the hard questions and admit that sometimes we are defeated. It’s at that point that doors open.

So what does that mean for this blog? Well nothing really. I will still come here, but this is not a place that I intend to make into a business. This is a place that I will come to and connect with you. Another place for me to write. I guess it will be like blogs were in the beginning, a place to share thoughts and inspiration. Perhaps I will share a lot more things that are going on for me personally, I’ll certainly share things that I find beautiful for the home, because I still love that and well, hello, I’m in Stockholm!!! I will still write for magazines and websites. It’s just now, I feel unstuck and that I’m living my truth and everything can work together side-by-side and in harmony.

As time goes on, and I get more into it, I will share more about the book. Actually, I’m really excited to share more with you. Who knows, I could be the next Cheryl Strayed or Elizabeth Gilbert.  Now that would be fun!

Much love,

Mel x

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22 Comments

  1. Gucki

    Beautiful and heart open post, it’s always hard put it yourself out there so sincere. You have an amazing project, a new little baby to grow with love and patience. Having a man like Guillaume supporting you in this new adventure is fundamental. I’m very happy for you, keep going and believe in you, always!!! <3 <3 <3 Lots of love and great hugs from Italy!!! Gucki ;-)

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thank you Alessandra! Your words mean so much to me. Hugs back at you lady xx

    Reply »

  2. Anastasia

    Oh Mel! How exciting…im SO glad you found what you need to be doing right now and Im looking forward to reading your memoir! I too havnt blogged or crafted in ages!…two yrs long. I miss it …miss that creativity and early blogger community but felt the past few yrs it was all about blog stats and growing the blog …where i just want to share and inspire…i feel/felt lost too. Need to find my passion again! Ohhh would love to know what made you disillusioned??!! But glad you are writing and expressing…hugs

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thanks Anastasia. It’s funny how it all got so competitive and it just lost it’s juice huh? But coming here with no stings attached, to simply share just feels so right. And I’m not even talking about the joy that i’m feeling when I write that book. I hope that you get back to your creativity too! Maybe a little shift in a slightly different direction is all you need? Hugs to you xx

    Reply »

  3. Stephanie

    That’s great news, Mel. Congratulations to finding your path. I’m really excited dir you and for the novel and I swear I’ll buy it as soon as it is out.
    I’ll keep my fingers crossed for the writing process, for everything to work out smooth for you.
    xx, Steph

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thank you Steph for your support! It’s something very close to my heart and so far so good. So yes, fingers crossed. M xx

    Reply »

  4. Bradley

    Thanks for sharing your story.Have a similar thing for me to..It’s always hard to have a self motivated path makes you have doubt about yourself.This is a normal transition to success.Being an entrepreneur can be a lonely and isolating experience.But It pushes you towards your goals. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a big pat on the back how far are you have come.Look forward to reading your first book.

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thanks Brad. Wishing you so much success in your business xx

    Reply »

  5. Julie Dicker

    Lovely post. So honest and heartfelt. You are very gifted and constantly reflecting on your life. Our great God and Creator wants the best for us and our spiritual life always needs to be nourished. I look forward to your book as well. You definitely have the ability. Love to you. Julie xx

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thank you so much Julie for your kind words xx

    Reply »

  6. Annie "Belle-Maman"

    Hello Mélissa ! C’ est “Mamie Annie” !

    Je viens de lire ton blog: tu es parvenue à faire comprendre et surtout à faire sentir ce qui te faisait prendre une autre piste (à défricher là aussi ! ).Bien que n’ étant pas “fluent” en Anglais et ne comprenant pas forcémént tout, j’ ai toujours été sensible à ton style d’écriture, ici tout particulièrement.

    Je suis très heureuse pour toi, pour vous

    Je t’ embrasse

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Merci Annie. It means a lot to me. Bisou!! M x

    Reply »

  7. Vanessa

    Hello Mel!
    Thank you for sharing your struggles and hopes with us. A very honest post. I wish you all the best and I look forward to finding out more about your progress.
    Please say hi to Paolo. I bumped into a few of “my” kids lately, they’ll always be 5 in my teacher’s heart, but it’s so good to see them years later, taller than their parents, with that same smile!

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thanks Vanessa! I will do, he will be so happy when I tell him. I hope you’re well:)

    Reply »

  8. Kelly Evans

    You will be the next ‘Mel Chesneau’ and I can’t wait to read this book Mel.
    I love yor writing and the way you share and formulat your thoughts.
    You’re incredibly talented and I’m so happy for you that you’ve come through a difficult time to find what you genuinely love.
    Much love to you Mel.

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thank you so much Kelly! You always say the kindest things. I really appreciate your support xx

    Reply »

  9. Annette

    Dear Mel
    And there you go. What a relief. I so so SO can identify with your struggles. It must feel so good to finally let go of that idea you once had and take off on a new exciting path that you somehow already knew about but never thought of trying… There is a time for everything. Now it is time for something new for you. I’m so happy for you. Spot on with your words, I quote you:
    “I will still come here, but this is not a place that I intend to make into a business. This is a place that I will come to and connect with you. Another place for me to write. I guess it will be like blogs were in the beginning, a place to share thoughts and inspiration.”
    Looking forward to old fashion blogging and hearing more about you, Stockholm and your new adventure in writing. I’m with Kelly on this one: You will be the next Mel Chesneau. You go girl. Courage.
    Xxx

    Reply »

    Mel replied:

    Thank you Annette!! It’s funny how I end up here, when I was so close to this decision before. Sometimes it takes time to let go… even though I’m not, just the idea of this blog that I had before. Hugs to you xx

    Reply »

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